Dating a guy with aspergers?
Question by honybare: Dating a guy with aspergers?
So im dating a guy with aspergers and im just wondering how to treat him. What will he do differently than other boyfriends? Will he get confused with me a lot? And how can i prevent that?
Best answer:
Answer by Mayall
You shouldn’t be dating him at all if you feel the need to treat him differently than anyone else. If you are uncomfortable it will cause problems and you will break up. Be honest with yourself. If you aren’t happy with him the way he is just move on.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Mayall makes a good point. If every time you look at him you see the Aspergers before you see him as a person, you won’t be able to have a comfortable relationship (something to think about). However, if it isn’t that extreme and you’re asking out of curiosity…
It varies a lot from person to person, and also depends on the severity. That being said, here are some GENERAL tips:
– If you are ever upset with something he has done/said, you shouldn’t expect him to pick up on subtle hints. You will have to be straight-forward with him and tell him “When you said/did ____, it made me feel ____ because of ____” then explain how you’d prefer him to say/do it in the future.
– If you commonly use slang, sarcasm, or metaphors, he may get confused from time to time. Make sure to let him know that if he is ever confused by anything you’ve said, he should feel comfortable to ask you to elaborate, and you won’t laugh at him or think he’s stupid for asking.
– Someone with AS may be almost “too honest”. I have Aspergers, so personally I love that kind of honesty, but some people understandably don’t. If you ask him “Do you like my new haircut?” be prepared for him to tell you the truth, which may not be what you want to hear. This can be a great thing though, because you can be sure he’s never going to just compliment you/tell you what you want to hear unless he means it.
– Depending on his specific case, he may have certain things (noises, textures, situations) that set him off, or routines/habits he religiously commits to. You must be respectful of these things. If you really care about him, I’m sure you’ll be able to look past these quirks anyway, but make sure he knows you understand & support him.
– Most people with AS are generally like anyone else. While you want him to know you acknowledge and accept his AS, you don’t want it to be a main theme or make him feel like you pity him.
– Sometimes we go through periods where we want to be alone, and sometimes these periods can last quite a while. If this happens, don’t take it personally. We do this because it’s a personal need, and usually has nothing to do with the people/circumstances in our life.
Overall, I must say you can probably expect him to be a pretty good boyfriend. You can expect honesty, loyalty, creativity, as well as many other great qualities.
Don’t over-analyze it, and just enjoy