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Overall good nuggets of truth,
The authors did a fairly good job with tackling this sticky subject. Everyone has their own particular set of circumstances, but I think for the most part, the majority of women will be the “transitional woman” for a man going through his divorce, which is why I can understand the authors’ choice to be quite negative about their thoughts on the man. For me personally, I stuck with my gut and knew that I had a special situation, and I was right. We made it through b/c we both had to acknowledge our temporary limitations and work within those boundaries (this tactic is outlined by the authors). As the book suggests to all women, I kept my own apartment, kept friendships intact, started new hobbies to keep myself occupied, and definitely kept a mental “side door” ajar in case I needed out. So, in general, I think this book is smart b/c it reminds women that they have choices, they must take responsibility for their own happiness, and it also outlines what to expect if a woman chooses to be in a situation like this. If you’re willing to take on this kind of “high-risk” relationship with a man going through a divorce, good luck, but remember to always be honest with yourself, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is, and even the smartest, savviest woman can be brought to her knees in this type of situation, so brace yourself, and having a copy of this book handy is probably not a bad idea, since it’s really the only one of its kind.
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|Helped me get my sanity back,
I got his book about a month ago, and I’ve read it about 5 times already. I’ve underlined it, highlighted it, and dog-eared the important pages. If you’re involved with a man in the process of a divorce, this book is essential. It pointed out to me what I was doing wrong in the relationship. It also reminded me that I have 3 basic options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. This may sound overly simple, but in the midst of the mess of a relationship of this type, you forget the most basic things. I laughed out loud, nodded my head, and actually said “Yes…that’s true!” out loud as I read. This book sits next to my bed, and I turn to it almost daily to keep myself centered and on the right track. It gives several real life examples with analysis. The author doesn’t mince words either. She realistically lays it all on the line. It’s a cold, hard dose of reality, yet it does give you options for trying to make the relationship work. I’ve read a ton of “self-help” books, and this one is truly worth every penny. My first word of advice: Don’t get involved with a divorcing man. My second word of advice: If you do, get this book!
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|Too many assumptions…,
My boyfriend actually bought this book for me, and I thought it would be really interesting to read. This book assumes a few things: 1) you are a female who has never been married, AND 2) you do not have children of your own, AND 3) your (soon-to-be-divorced) boyfriend lives in the same town as his soon-to-be-ex. Since I do not fit into that neat category, I found many of the ideas and scenarios interesting, but quite irrelevant. Beware, it also paints men with a fairly broad “selfish jerk” brush. Instead of reassuring me that this was a situation that was well withing my abilities to deal with, it resurrected old insecurities.
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