Categories
Recent Posts
- Bus firm owner charged with harassing customers
- Kinyo MS-780H 2.0 Portable Speaker System with Love Heart Graphic specially designed with a cradle to fit all iPod nano and shuffle Support the latest 6G nano with build in antenna
- Dating Tips for Shy Guys w/ Maxim’s Hottie Caitlin O’Connor
- Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve
- Best Dating Advice for Men
Recent Comments
- Lisa Garnier on Dating Tips for Shy Guys w/ Maxim’s Hottie Caitlin O’Connor
- Frankiethegift . on Dating Tips for Shy Guys w/ Maxim’s Hottie Caitlin O’Connor
- jherman7780 on Dating Tips for Shy Guys w/ Maxim’s Hottie Caitlin O’Connor
- RelatrionshipAdvice on Dating Tips for Shy Guys w/ Maxim’s Hottie Caitlin O’Connor
- Lurch150 on Dating Tips for Shy Guys w/ Maxim’s Hottie Caitlin O’Connor
absolutely excellent,
Words cannot express how helpful this book has been to me. This book has been truly liberating.
For one, the author has dispelled all my fears (which were acting as enormous pressure) that if I don’t remarry, and remarry soon, my children would be lacking and worse off. Yes, an intact family is best for children, but as the author takes time to explain in this book, a blended family is not an intact family, and bringing in a step-parent is quite complicated and generally more likely to have negative effects than positive effects on the children. As the author of this book so wonderfully demonstrates, children raised in a single parent household are very likely to do better than children raised with a step-parent, emphasizing the fact that if remarriage is to be done, it absolutely must be done right. I will readily admit that the idea of “my kids desperately need a good male role model in their lives” has been one of the primary driving factors behind my desire to start dating again, even though I’ve known for some time that I’m really not emotionally ready to date yet, as much as I would like to be. Removing the pressure of doing this for my kids removes a lot of pressure, and frees me up to think more clearly on the topic.
Secondly, the author has affirmed my approach toward building romantic relationships, which is to be quite direct in defining the relationship on a regular basis. Truly, this was awkward (and unnecessary because there should have been nothing yet to define) in high school, but I’m glad to have my approach affirmed, because I want none of the confusion and wondering of “where do I stand?” on a nearly constant basis (and for me, it is constant). This is not to say that I would directly ask a man whom I am attracted to but have no beyond-acquaintances relationship with whether he is attracted to me (though I have often been tempted to do so, and would gain quite a bit of respect for a man brave enough to ask me such a question directly), but it is to say that if a relationship were already started, I would not hesitate to ask the tough and direct questions when I am wondering them. Honestly, the wondering game can drive a person nuts. If I can’t ask you where I stand without scaring you off, you’re not right for me, and I was so glad to see this book promoting such an approach to defining the relationship on a regular basis. It really put me at ease, knowing that not only is it okay for me to be direct like that (which is my natural tendency but always feels uncomfortable), but it actually is preferable, and anyone not willing to be direct with me in return would be a yellow caution light and possibly a big U-turn sign for me.
The above two points alone are enough for me to absolutely love this book, but their are other reasons as well.
While this book is mostly aimed at the single parent, it also speaks to the dating partner of the single parent. I’m really glad this was not left out. Marrying a parent is a huge decision, and should not be taken lightly. The topic of dating/marrying a parent could easily fill its own book, but is integrated very nicely in this one.
The author explains the vast difference between “coupleness” and “familyness” and that often blended families will fail because the two adults involved made a great couple, but with the kids involved they do not make a great family. This book helps you to look past the “coupleness” of your relationship and evaluate whether or not you and your love interest also have good “familyness” together with the children involved. This book also stresses the faulty logic behind finding “the one”, and that rather you should be focusing your efforts on being “the one”, which is something I am already well aware of (and part of the reason I am constantly reading and trying to improve myself), but which I think is a great lessons for others who seem to not grasp this concept.
I also love that this book is a 229 page dose of reality check, because boy did I need one. A remarriage with children involved is such a huge decision, and this book puts that decision in its place. It is not discouraging, but rather encouraging, as it has helped me to see that whether or not I ever remarry isn’t what is important. What is important is that I trust God and learn contentedness no matter what my current status and situation are. I already knew this of course, but reading this book put that knowledge at an emotional level of thinking, whereas before I only had that understanding on the logical level of my thinking. As much as I try to be logical, it is so much easier to act on what I know, if I feel it also. When what I feel and what I think are in agreement with each other is when I make the best decisions.
I am very grateful for how the loneliness involved in being a single parent is thoroughly addressed. Loneliness is probably the number one driving factor behind my very…
Read more
Was this review helpful to you?
|Dating and the Single Parent,
Dating and the Single Parent Review by Ron L. Deal
I received this book, in exchange for review from Bethany House. I read Dating and the Single Parent within the last week and I truly enjoyed this book. I didn’t read the book from the beginning, but started at chapters most relevant to me. I chose this book because one day I want to date, but I need to date the right way, versus may way. I also have two special kids, which adds additional challenges to dating.
The first section, which stood out was Appendix 2, the sample purity pledge. I am currently celibate. Some days I want to date, but I need to date within God’s guidelines. The book listed activities for dating couples to engage in, such as light kissing and hugging, without being sexual or giving in to temptation. The book also discussed how couples should get a mentor to talk to, if they are tempted. Finally, the section provided bible verses, which related to sexual purity.
Next, I enjoyed the first three chapters, which discussed dating with kids and dating readiness. The book states that individuals need to have a purpose in dating. The purpose need to have God put first. The book also discussed how people are selfish in dating. Some people date to find a (wo)man for them, companionship for them; love for them, but neglect to think about how the (wo)man will affect their kids. How will this person influence the kids? If a man is willing to date me and my two kids, I should consider how he will affect me, as well as them. His influence can affect their lives for eternity, which is why the couples should share similar spiritual beliefs (p. 31).
People also need to determine if they are truly ready to date. Individuals need to look at past dating patterns. Have you matured and learned from those relationships OR are you still stuck doing the same thing (p. 33). Do you trust God the same, more, or less during relationships? Do you put God to the side when dating? Do your mate believe in God? Can you trust the person? How does he treat the kids? How do the kids treat him? All of these questions need to be answered when pursuing a Christian-Godly-based relationship.
Other things which stood out in the book:
Not rushing dating or marriage. Take your time to get to know the person. Stay true to your purpose. Get to know them on a mental, instead of a physical level.
Trust in God to manage the relationship.
In many cases, the kids and the significant other will compete for attention.
Date for at least two years before considering marriage. Don’t date for at least two years after the divorce.
Discernment Discernment Discernment. If something don’t feel right, leave.
Know how your personality affects relationships.
I loved this book. The book was just what I needed right now.
Was this review helpful to you?
|Reviewing DATING AND THE SINGLE PARENT,
This book is not a surface-feel-good book, but one that makes you look at yourself realistically. You can’t just skim it; every page is important. He quotes a single parent who said, “we had no idea what we were getting into”… after reading THIS book, that won’t be you!
The author is up front and in your face with real issues — he asks you first of all to want God’s blessing in whatever you do. He asks questions so you can avoid repeating past mistakes and discern if you are ready to be serious again.
At the end of each chapter he lists discussion questions that hammer home the information, and help you to realistically look at yourself and those you are with.
The author explains the difference between “coupleness” and “familyness” which will give the reader a lot to consider. Coupleness does not equal familyness and should be kept in the forefront of every meeting and activity.
He will probably shock a lot of people about ‘soul-mate’ but what he says hits the mark; he is right-on and will save people a lot of heart-ache if they listen.
I liked how he promotes involving God and His ways in every area of one’s life i.e. a spiritually determined purpose in dating, everyone can learn from. Here is one of the thoughts he puts forth:
“In what way is your purpose in dating blocking God’s purpose for you in dating?”
Like I said, he asks thought-provoking and self-examining questions only you can answer.
One piece of wisdom I’ll share here is when he says “marry someone, not as a replacement parent, but because you love them and believe they will help you raise your kids in the Lord.”
The author gives a behavior list and says he would limit it to 1-4; I would have to say in that area, I would limit it 1-3. You’ll have to get the book to see what I am talking about!
I am not a reviewer who ‘gives away’ the whole story, but I hope this review will give single parents or those dating a single parent, a taste to read this book. It is well worth it.
I was given this book to review by Bakerpublishinggroup Bethany House Publishers, with no restrictions as to how I would review it. I do highly recommend it.
IBELIEVE2
[…]
Was this review helpful to you?
|