What does a good marriage look like to you? {rsstitle}
Question by MacSteed: What does a good marriage look like to you?
What qualities do you think make for a good marriage? Have you ever been in one yourself? Are you now? Do you know a couple whose marriage exemplifies what you’re looking for in a marriage? Please state your own criteria. This is about what *you* think makes a marriage a good one; not what anyone else thinks. And no, there won’t be a quiz afterward (nor a pending divorce). Cheers! 
Best answer:
Answer by LastLeaf
well i have a friend i envy the most. her marriage is so wonderful and both of them are really supporting each other.. their in-laws are in good terms and i can see them,they are very happy.
Give your answer to this question below!
Honestly, I really believe I have the BEST marriage!! I have been married 7 years and together with my husband for 15 years. He is my husband, best friend, therapist and everything else. I think the reason our marriage is so great is because we have complete honesty, and can laugh at eachother and we also have no problem saying “i’m sorry” when one of us is in the wrong. We have a 6 year old son who is our world. And he sees that mommy and daddy are best friends. We have our little arguments but nothing that lasts more than 10 min. One rule we have is that we NEVER go to bed angry at one another. Even if we both feel that we’re right, we both apologize and agree to disagree but we go to bed every night saying “i love you”. I honestly still get that butterfly feeling in my stomach when my husband is about to come home from work. He is the most amazing man and the greatest father to our son. But I think the reason our marriage will last forever is because there is nothing we don’t tell eachother. and even if I do something that gets him upset, he always talks to me about it and vice versa. we started out as friends and no have a beautiful marriage. I honestly cannot picture my life without him. We always always have each others back and know that the other is always there. We also believe in some old fashion values, for example; I stay home and clean and cook and he works. He is the head of the household and has the final say in decisions but we both agree to this. He is the disciplinary in our house and I always back him up. I never undermine him in front of our son and I show him respect. I greet him at the door when he gets home and bring his dinner to him. I do it not because I feel I have to but because I want to because he works hard all day for our family so the least I can do is make sure he is relaxed and taking care of when he comes home. I think the old fashion values have been great in our marriage because we know our roles and love each other and put each other first.
A strong marriage is a give and take on both ends. You can’t meet someone 50/50… It needs to be 100/100.
Top ten ingredients in a marriage.
10) Loyalty (fidelity, ie. Not cheating on each other. Sex is between the 2 of you ONLY, for that matter anything personal is between the two of you)
9) Consideration/ Self Sacrifice (This means that yea some times you deal without what you want so the other party can have what she/he wants. ie: Husband needs a new pair of shoes, wife gives up going to get her hair done voluntary and goes and gets husband shoes without him knowing leaving them by the door for him. And DOES NOT complain or make comments of a destructive nature)
8) Trust
7) Compromise
6) Accountability (If your struggling with something you work with each other to help each other take care of the issues each has. Help furthering each others character development. How ever don’t point out flaws in character instead aid in development. Noone likes a nag)
5) Vulnerability (You need to be open with each other)
4) Building each other up/ Encouragement (Some days it’s harder than most, but when you replace toxic words or degrading comments with encouragement and positivity or even short little texts randomly to each other like “Sweetheart, I’m proud of the way you ______. You really are _______” And see your marriage and relationship grow.)
3) Developing interest in the others interests (Trying to learn something that you don’t know that much about which the other likes, and trying to show effort in that area)
2) Communication (To be able to share how you feel about things, and listen to the other as well about how they feel)
1) Mutual respect ( Understanding that you both are unique individuals with different desires and dreams and understanding that the uniqueness and appreciate it because makes you who you are and in a nut shell is what you like about each other. Not laying hands on each other in an abusive manner, or screaming, or being vulgar. Instead sitting down and discussing calmly your issues, or walking away when you can’t handle your own temperament.)
Lastly True love is a choice, not a feeling… So many people get caught up in how they feel about each other, and where it is good and nice to get that ‘butterfly’ feeling it isn’t true love…
True love is when you would put the others needs ahead of yourself WITHOUT hesitation. It is calm when wronged, forgiving, not proud.
You need to though like I said before be 100/100 if one person is giving all the fore-mentioned attributes and the other is just soaking it in without giving of themselves the marriage WILL FAIL when the one giving becomes exhausted.
For me, love, has to be first and foremost for a good marriage. It’s ultimately the glue that binds two souls together. People marry for different reasons, but if love isn’t in the equation, I honestly don’t see how a marriage can survive, let alone be happy. Although I do believe love to be one of the most important aspects of a good marriage, I don’t believe that love alone is enough.
Communication is extremely important in a good marriage, both verbal and nonverbal. Being able to openly and honestly talk with each other about everyday things, what you’re feeling inside, goals and aspirations, sex (which is in itself, very important to a good marriage!), and any possible misunderstandings or fears you each may have. Along these lines, being considerate of one another and being a good listener, is equally important.
Okay, I’ve listed two of the most important factors that make a good marriage, and now I’m going to tell you what I think is just as important. A good marriage (at least to me), must have playfulness! I’m talking everything from acting silly, and being adventurous, to surprising each other when least expected, and having a great sense of humor. As the saying goes, couples who play together, stay together. I think that’s very true! There’s a time for being serious of course, but being playful together sure makes life more enjoyable.
It goes without saying, that trust is huge in a good marriage. If you can’t trust one another, then you have nothing.
Interdependence is important to a good marriage, but so too is, independence. I think it’s important to have alone time and to have your own interests (hobbies, furthering your education, etc.) outside of shared interests (also very important). I think this not only strengthens a marriage, but makes you feel that you’re still an individual and not simply a married couple.
Mutual respect is very important to a happy marriage. I see married couples who belittle one another in public, and I absolutely see no place for that at all. I also hate terms such as, “my old lady” or “my old man” used to refer to your wife or husband. I’ve been married for many years, and my husband has never once been disrespectful in any way, nor have I to him. Being courteous, kind, and polite is essential to a happy marriage. Getting and giving compliments, definitely adds to a good marriage!
Having a good sense of humor is very important also, especially as the years go by. A person’s looks change as the years go by, so having a good sense of humor goes a long way with regard to dealing with the effects of that. Of course, speaking of looks, I feel that it’s very important to eat healthy and to exercise, and it’s great being able to encourage and support one another in that regard.
Tolerance is also important, as everyone has there own little quirks and ways of doing things. Rather than complain and belittle, understand that you also likely do things that make him wonder about you too, so it all goes hand in hand. Just remember why you married in the first place, and let the little things go.
Know how to deal with conflicts. Be understanding, be a good listener, and be supportive.
As I’m likely almost out of room here, I’ll say one last thing (actually two, sorry), have fun together and say to your partner every single day, I love you.